Archive Anecdotage

1 The Hotel Grief....

...somewhere in Austria.... 2nd April '96... conversation with receptionist......

"I don't want a conversation, I want a line"
"Yes, but you already made a call, didn't you?..."
"Oh, I'm sorry."
"So the line is working."
"No it's not working, for the second time, I've been trying for over an hour."
"But your phone is switched off at night."
"What for?"
"We do it."
"Why?
"Not to disturb you."
"I'm very disturbed about this, can you tell me when the telephone will be fixed. I have to make a call, remember?."
"You have to dial '0' first."
"Yes, I know. I've already made a call, remember?"
"But the line is ok."
"No it isn't...........and the maid's coming into my room to make sure I'm not being disturbed. Do you have any of those little 'Do not disturb' signs like the ones they supply in real hotels?"
"They know when you're in your room and they will not come in."
"Oh sorry.... when will the phones be working again for outside calls?"
"But you have made a call, therefore, you know the phone is working."
That's the point madam, it's not working now."
"Maybe it's busy, the number you called."
"No, they have a big switchboard, lots of lines."
"You must dial zero first!"
"You're very good at this, aren't you?........I mean very, very good"...... click... beep... beep... beep......


© Ian Gillan 1996

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