Questions - you got 'em; answers - we got 'em

38 - Moocho, null Nancy, Onan the Barbarian, Ozzy, PG tips, Sabbath sums

From: (Charlie Jeffreys)

Dear Ian,
An extract from Q&A 37:
"As the young bull said to the old bull......'Look, there's a herd of cows on that hill over there. Let's run across and surprise one or two. The old bull looked up slowly and said, why don't we walk across and surprise them all.'" Did you perchance encounter this parable in Eric Williams' classic true story, "The Wooden Horse"? As I recall, it was used as a metaphor for the philosophy of Eric and his chums in the famous wartime escape. Except they didn't actually use the euphemism 'surprise'.
Cheers Charlie

Dear Charlie,
I never did come across Williams' 'Wooden Horse', only Homer's; and the story itself has probably been around since the Greek Bronze Age. I did use it in the lyrics of a song called 'Moocho'. This was in the most recent production of 'Cherkazoo'.

Moocho is a singing bull and the relevant line is......

My leetle brother sought some pleasure
From a herd of Spanish heifers
He said let's run across the field
And maybe we'll surprise one
I said if we walk we can surprise them all!

Ch. He said if we walk we can surprise them all, ole!

I have made a note to add 'Moocho' to the Wordog.
Cheers, ig


Dearest IG,
Been loving Toolbox which I just got about a month ago. I was under the impression it was "rare." Just happened to find it on the great www. and order it for your name. I think Steve Morse compliments you like no other guitarist, ever. About to load Abandon now.

Hey this always crosses my mind, and other people continue to ask moi --ha! -- as if I could possibly know:

Among other persons, for just one example, my young teenage nephew asked me why "they" mention my name in Strange Kind of Woman. My ex always politely never said a thing when we listened to DP together.

I idly wist sometimes if she's just a songwriters' legend, maybe the same one or just a type Leonard Cohen wrote of. It sounds to me like that, she's just the kind that gets written down in history.

Thankfully I am -- at the very least -- too young and didn't get around enough to be either Nancy. It is still flattering to hear my name sung even in such context. Was Nancy just a good name to use or a real person, etc?

Just found listed that DP may appear in Antioch, Tennessee, near-by to my neighborhood this summer 2002! Eeeeaaaooouuwww! ... Oh, never mind, it's unconfirmed yet. Oh well, if you're there, I'll be there. Trying to stay updated via the great www.

An IG-Fan-shaped Nancy

Dear Nancy, There was such a person but her name wasn't Nancy; it was someone I knew well and out of respect didn't want to use her real name, so Nancy came along.

Tuesday 18th June, we shall be in Antioch, see you there.
Cheers, ig

From: (Michael Rowett)

Hey Ian,
In your most recent Q&A, you were unsure which Clinton administration official in the U.S. was fired for advocating the teaching of masturbation in schools. It actually was Surgeon General Jocelyn Elders, an appointee of Clinton's from when he was governor of Arkansas. She drove Rush Limbaugh and the other right-wing-nuts to mouth-frothing distraction, but in this case I remember she said "maybe" it should be taught. I don't think she was actually advocating a genitalia hokey-pokey, but it was the "last straw" so to speak so Clinton fired her to avoid pissing off the "soccer moms" and such. While we're on the subject of sex, a lot of male hard rock singers (David Coverdale especially, but lots of others) have gotten flack from rock critics for singing primarily about shagging the ladies. Seems like when you sing about this very natural part of our existence, your wordplay is a bit more obtuse and creative ("Puget Sound" from Mr. Universe is about cunnilingus, right?). How valid are the criticisms that hard rock lyrics are too sexist, and is there an age at which one reaches the self-parody stage when singing about the horizontal bop? Also, how would I go about getting backstage passes when you guys tour the U.S. this summer?
Thanks, Michael from the U.S.

Hi Michael,
Thanks for putting me right on that, I had a stack of mail on the same subject. Politicians over here are always so keen on 'tackling the causes of crime'. The latest trend is blaming retailers for stocking stealable goods. The attitudes towards sex education, nudity etc is similar, except you can't legislate for what goes on in people's minds.

I think Jocelyn Elders got it right. Conversely, prohibition never ever works. In this case spectacularly so; as we now live in an age of sexual fixation. A little relief from the tension would be healthier all round, and huge numbers of people could then concentrate on getting on with their lives.

Further on this subject....sexism, self parody etc., we all talked our way through this on the road to where we are now. Political correctness has accounted for the disappearance of an awful lot of fun in our lives. I dismiss the piousness of the PC type. I have every bit as much right and ability to be sensitive and thoughtful about delicate issues as a post-modernist, and I think my morals are as sound as any religous person; in other words frail and vulnerable.

However, I don't think that it's a good thing to spend an entire career describing what one is going to do to someone else with one's pulchritudinous penis, when one finally gets around to it of course, because right now one is having it off with oneself, and no-one likes to interrupt an onanist; coitus is something else altogether.

I will put 'Puget Sound' up on the Wordography soon, and you will see it's more of a journey about a trip on a Greyhound Bus than cunnilingus; however the two are not known to be mutually exclusive.

For backstage passes you should go to the Deep Purple website I guess, or the local promoter. I don't know really, each country has a different way of doing things. Also, on certain nights there are no passes, when we have to hit the road quickly for an overnighter for example.
Cheers, ig


Now that Ozzy Osbourne is so popular with his fly on the wall "at home" TV series on MTV when are we going to see "A day in the life of Ian Gillan" on our screens - or is it not fit for public consumption?

Hi Graeme,
Is nothing sacred?
Cheers, ig

From: (Lars Olsson)

Hello Ian!
I am writing to help Max to find Pauline´s record. Go to and search for Pauline Gillan and you will find. All the best to you, the band and Jon.

Hello Lars,
I hope Max is listening. I have checked out the site myself and they have some stuff, including used versions of 'Northern Dancer' (five stars, no less).

Your effort is much appreciated.
Cheers, ig

From: (Nenad Peric)

Dear Ian,
How long are you singed in "Black Sabbath"? How many songs you writed?
Neso i Vlado from Serbia.

Dear Neso i Vlado,
I was in Black Sabbath for about one year and I wrote about seven songs for the 'Born Again' album.
Cheers, ig

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