The complete lyrics - all in good time
some = all / the effluxion of time

14 Almost Human

(Gillan, Glover, Lord, Morse, Paice)
from the Deep Purple Album 'Abandon'

At the beginning of the first verse I am talking to my whisky. If you look at a bottle of 'Bells' you will see that it carries the legend 'Afore ye go'.

I have been known to demonstrate a parlour game called 'Afterburn'. It's quite simple really; all you need is a grown-up newspaper and some form of ignition, and of course a couple of relaxing whiskies. You take an entire broadsheet, i.e. the front and back pages, and you roll it into a tube then scrunch each end. By this time you are supposed to be undressed and what you do is stick one end up your kyber, set fire to the other end and off you go. The object of the exercise is to see how many laps of the car park or bar you can do, before the pain becomes intolerable. If you lose your grip you can't replace the thruster (as it's known) and so it only counts up to that point. It is therefore imperative to develop a sound technique in the category 'clenching whilst running around stark naked with a flaming newspaper up your backside'.

You get the picture? Good, the rest is along the same lines; it's basically a eulogy to whisky (as a relaxant). The last part is worth explaining though; it was about two o'clock in the morning and I was debating the merits of burial at sea with Joe O'Donnell (our publican and fellow 'Bells' aficionado), when my wife suggested it might be time to go. A certain amount of beer had been spilt, some of it that very evening, on the carpeted floor where I was standing and as I tried to leave I discovered, much to my horror, that I was in fact stuck to the floor. This obviously delayed my departure and I had another drink whilst telling Joe about the time a flight case fell upon my head and they fixed me up at the hospital with superglue, but that's another song.

Almost Human

(Gillan, Glover, Lord, Morse, Paice)

I know you're the only
One who understands
Afore ye go, before you leave
You always shake my hand
Even when I'm crazy
On fire and naked
Just as Nature intended
With no style but easily blended

You always know where
I'll be found
Hanging somewhere
Near the ground
Help me up or help me down

Don't want to lose those days
When everything is just a Haze
I'm dreaming

I believe I could walk before I
Learned to crawl
When I look up,
The Devil's looking back
From the mirror on the wall
You can open the door
I got my feet stuck to the floor
I may have lost my way
But I didn't get where I am today

Don't want to lose those days
When everything is just a Haze
I'm dreaming

You spin into my empty room
And once again
I'm almost human
Almost human

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